Friday, July 6, 2012

Change is in the air...

Boy, am I challenged in these recent days. I was just about to discipline my child regarding her deceptive behaviour. I was about to blow as this was not the first time and previous time was a really strict consequence. Was trying to get her to understand personal responsibility for change.

As I was about to implement yet another round of consequences, I am reminded of change. Prompting is just that she has reached an age of a change in my parenting method. Come to think of it, she is already almost 9 and I have not have any major changes in my parenting methods. I decided to rethink my entire parenting approach.

1st major shift must be in the form of punishment and consequences. Extrinsic negatives need to make way for more intrinsic ones as she has definitely moved into her abstract stage of cognitive development. The new approach would be on intrinsic ones (both negative and positive). More needs to be done in getting her to take ownership of right behaviour and less dependent on external reminders.

2nd would be the approach. More gentle talks to encourage openness and honesty. This is to set the stage for teenage years which is fast approaching. To let her know we are there for her and not against her. Approaches like "How can we help you to..." will be taking a bigger role.

Lastly, focus needs to be more on thinking. How would that make people think of you? Is that how you want others to know you? Is there a better option? These must be the more frequent discussion then why it is wrong.
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