Saturday, May 23, 2009

Homosexuality is Preventable!

Recently came across this very interesting yet bold book regarding homosexuality:

A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality by Dr Joseph Nicolosi

In the book it describes how boys have additional developmental task of dis-identifying with their mother and identifying with their father. Gender identity phase begins at 15 to 18 months and is established by 3 years. When the gender identity of masculinity is not formed, homosexuality develops. Homosexuality is an eroticised fantasy attempt in connecting with masculinity, if a child internalised masculine identity when growing up, he will not look for it in such a way but ratehr look towards the opposite sex.

Researches have found the developmental root of homosexuality lies in the classic triadic relationship: distant & detached father, the overinvolved & domineering mother, and the temperamentally sensitive, emotionally attuned boy. To break this, its a matter of dads getting involved & intrude in order to build a bond and moms backing off.

The 3 "A"s behind homosexuality is:

Attention, Affection and Approval.

Homosexuality is not about sex but its about emotional needs, wanting to bond, not knowing how to make that connection.

Father-son bonding is needed, however, never shame a child out of a certain kind of behavior.

Mothers make boys, fathers make need a father figure to facilitate the transition out of the feminine sphere of the mother. The male figure needs to be a salient one who takes a personal interest in the boy - mentoring. The boy needs to feel specially chosen.

Homosexuality is not a phase! It can be, RISE UP and play your part in getting involved!!


Sunday, May 3, 2009

AWARE saga

Its been a long time since I wrote anything, too many activities and though there were thoughts, there was simply no time to pen it down. However, the AWARE saga brought me to think long and deep. I can't help it but to pen this down.

This all out war has taught me quite a few lessons as a parent.

Lesson 1:

Never assume. As a trainer and teacher, I understand that there are no 100% check on everything taught to the students. You learn to trust the people you work with to deliver what you expect of them. If you parent teenagers, there is no way your child will come home from a training in school and give you a detailed run down of what was taught to them in the enrichment class. You'll be good if they even tell you anything about it much less in detail.

Therefore, ASK for a manual to look at. Ask from the school, ask from your child...ASK. Especially when what is taught is important to the moral development of your child (not just academic) because someone else if in effect parenting them and you ought to know what was taught!

Lesson 2:

The reputation of an organisation is not a good enough a reason to leave your child's moral development to. You need to know the organisation in greater details especially when their moral development is at stake. Too many people out there have a warped idea of what is considered acceptable.

When they placed themselves as trainer for a topic and cannot get their facts right, a personal agenda is at hand. They quote many sources (including MM Lee) that homosexual are born this way according to psychologists but they did not present the whole truth about skewed researches like the flawed findings by homosexual scientists, eg. Simon LeVay, that they based their statements on. Then they use that as training credible is that?

I based my opinion on some of the more thorough researches eg:

In their desire to help, even reputable organisations can get things wrong. So CHECK!

Lesson 3:

Hold back on the judging and find out the good that can come out of every bad event. As much as we can find flaws and judge the methodology of the AWARE new guards, I greatly appreciate their courage. They saw something not right and they went for it with all their heart. I wish my child would grow up to have such moral courage. the way we taught our child is more along the line of stay out of trouble and don't get involved. that would be a sure way to fail in bringing up teenagers. By the time they are teenagers without the moral courage to make a stand/difference, what makes you think they have the chance to stay out of trouble as peer pressure will never allow they to be sitting on the fence. If they are trained in a avoid trouble mode, they will follow rather than have the courage to resist.

Another good I can see out of this is that if not for them, I would think that my child would have been taught all sorts of things about sexuality that i do not wish them to have without my getting any wiser to it. The system is set in a way that no complaints, no action but since we don't know, we won't complain...get the logic? Thank you ladies for bringing this to such a highlight that sex education in schools will never be the same again...for this I am grateful and for your suffering for it...I am so sorry.

The lesson? LOOK for the good in everything. It takes practice.


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