Homosexuality is Preventable!

Recently came across this very interesting yet bold book regarding homosexuality:

A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality by Dr Joseph Nicolosi

In the book it describes how boys have additional developmental task of dis-identifying with their mother and identifying with their father. Gender identity phase begins at 15 to 18 months and is established by 3 years. When the gender identity of masculinity is not formed, homosexuality develops. Homosexuality is an eroticised fantasy attempt in connecting with masculinity, if a child internalised masculine identity when growing up, he will not look for it in such a way but ratehr look towards the opposite sex.

Researches have found the developmental root of homosexuality lies in the classic triadic relationship: distant & detached father, the overinvolved & domineering mother, and the temperamentally sensitive, emotionally attuned boy. To break this, its a matter of dads getting involved & intrude in order to build a bond and moms backing off.

The 3 "A"s behind homosexuality is:

Attention, Affection and Approval.

Homosexuality is not about sex but its about emotional needs, wanting to bond, not knowing how to make that connection.

Father-son bonding is needed, however, never shame a child out of a certain kind of behavior.

Mothers make boys, fathers make men...you need a father figure to facilitate the transition out of the feminine sphere of the mother. The male figure needs to be a salient one who takes a personal interest in the boy - mentoring. The boy needs to feel specially chosen.

Homosexuality is not a phase! It can be prevented...men, RISE UP and play your part in getting involved!!


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AWARE saga

Its been a long time since I wrote anything, too many activities and though there were thoughts, there was simply no time to pen it down. However, the AWARE saga brought me to think long and deep. I can't help it but to pen this down.

This all out war has taught me quite a few lessons as a parent.


Lesson 1:

Never assume. As a trainer and teacher, I understand that there are no 100% check on everything taught to the students. You learn to trust the people you work with to deliver what you expect of them. If you parent teenagers, there is no way your child will come home from a training in school and give you a detailed run down of what was taught to them in the enrichment class. You'll be good if they even tell you anything about it much less in detail.

Therefore, ASK for a manual to look at. Ask from the school, ask from your child...ASK. Especially when what is taught is important to the moral development of your child (not just academic) because someone else if in effect parenting them and you ought to know what was taught!

Lesson 2:

The reputation of an organisation is not a good enough a reason to leave your child's moral development to. You need to know the organisation in greater details especially when their moral development is at stake. Too many people out there have a warped idea of what is considered acceptable.

When they placed themselves as trainer for a topic and cannot get their facts right, a personal agenda is at hand. They quote many sources (including MM Lee) that homosexual are born this way according to psychologists but they did not present the whole truth about skewed researches like the flawed findings by homosexual scientists, eg. Simon LeVay, that they based their statements on. Then they use that as training materials...how credible is that?

I based my opinion on some of the more thorough researches eg:
http://www.narth.com/docs/080307Abbott_NARTH_article.pdf
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/genetics/nyreview.html

In their desire to help, even reputable organisations can get things wrong. So CHECK!

Lesson 3:

Hold back on the judging and find out the good that can come out of every bad event. As much as we can find flaws and judge the methodology of the AWARE new guards, I greatly appreciate their courage. They saw something not right and they went for it with all their heart. I wish my child would grow up to have such moral courage. the way we taught our child is more along the line of stay out of trouble and don't get involved. that would be a sure way to fail in bringing up teenagers. By the time they are teenagers without the moral courage to make a stand/difference, what makes you think they have the chance to stay out of trouble as peer pressure will never allow they to be sitting on the fence. If they are trained in a avoid trouble mode, they will follow rather than have the courage to resist.

Another good I can see out of this is that if not for them, I would think that my child would have been taught all sorts of things about sexuality that i do not wish them to have without my getting any wiser to it. The system is set in a way that no complaints, no action but since we don't know, we won't complain...get the logic? Thank you ladies for bringing this to such a highlight that sex education in schools will never be the same again...for this I am grateful and for your suffering for it...I am so sorry.

The lesson? LOOK for the good in everything. It takes practice.

Therefore...........ASK.......CHECK...........LOOK

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Focus On The Family Podcast

Came across this podcast from Focus On The Family and since then been listening to its contents. you can see and listen to the the contents in the widget below:

I have gone through the series of talk on Creative Ideas for Child Discipline. The links can be seen below:

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 1 Listen

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 2 Listen

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 3 Listen

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 4 Listen

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 5 Listen

Creative Ideas for Child Discipline 6 Listen

I gained a lot of respect for this feisty lady who have to take care of her children, one of which had been diagnosed as being hyperactivitive. My experience of meeting parents of hyperactive children had always left me wondering how in the world I would survive if I were to have one. They are truly the unsung heroes of our generation. In this series she talked about the creative ideas she had to come up with regarding discipline and that really blew my mind away at the calmness and extent of ideas she produces. It is worth listening folks!



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About Clifford Stoll 3

After viewing the video from the previous post, these are the gems I derived:

• He described his experience in his school days regarding film strip day where educational films will be screened. One scathing comment he made was that when the film start rolling, the students stop thinking, calling it "edutainment"

• He commented that learning should not be fun, learning is hard work, it takes discipline, commitment, responsibility, means doing your homework, reading, thinking, discussing problems with teachers. the big payoff is an understanding…the payoff is not the instant gratification…it’s a very delayed gratification that may take years

• There is no easy or work free way of solving educational problems

• Information is power vs knowledge is power (using the example of librarian vs politician). He mentioned the huge gaps in the following sequence:

• When we denigrate one skill and praise another, it says something about where our values are in society

• By centering your educational system around one particular technological device, you exclude important aspects of education

• What good is all these glitzy technology to a child who cannot write analytically, who won’t read anything more than 24 lines by 80 columns, whose idea of Mathematics is that I don’t need to know that because we have computers

• Creativity is the inability to follow somebody else’s rules. When these people come across a wall, instead of following somebody else’s rule for getting around it, they create their own solutions, yet we marginalised them calling them dummies and idiots

Thats quite a mouthful but his video is entertaining in its own way. Weird professor with weird antics but HOWEVER do we listen? As parents in this age of IT should be not heed the warnings and be really skeptical about IT being the solve all and the only thing in the future?

IT is good, but without IT we wont die and putting ourselves solely in the hands of IT leaves us extremely vulnerable to its risks as well as its woes. please do stop and...

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About Clifford Stoll 2

I chanced upon this quote:

Guess who said this, in which year and what was he refering to?

If you were like me, the guess was way off. The quote was by Thomas Edison in 1922 talking about motion picture!!

How interesting...much is said about the ebook replacing physical textbooks. Till today it is still a pipe dream. The idea sound revolutionary, high tech and even visionary but try reading a passage of more than 10 pages from your screen and you will know what I mean. Think at least 10 fold of that and you will realise the impact.

This excerpt is just a short take from what I found from a talk by Clifford Stoll seen below, its a little long but enjoy:

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About Clifford Stoll

Been looking at different IT articles and I came across this author called Clifford Stoll. Looking at his background really showed such high tech inclination as his first book entitled "Cuckoo's Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage" that talked about how he caught a group of hackers who stole secrets from military computer systems in the US and sold them to the KGB. Since then, he had been considered a computer security expert and given loads of talks to government as well as the corporate world.

Its is interessting that he would follow this up by writing his second and third book called "Silicon Snake Oil: Second Thoughts on the Information Highway" and "High-Tech Heretic: Why Computers Don't Belong in the Classroom and Other Reflections by a Computer Contrarian" respectively which warns about the high price of the effects of internet on real human interaction that we will have to pay in future as well as the assumptions of technology and the role of computers in classrooms. I have not personally read his books which, I hope I can lay hands on them sometime soon, the article in Newsweek about him in 1995 was certainly a thought provoking read.

Very interesting that he did such an about face comment about technology. Maybe some things changed as he became a stay at home dad and a teacher of eighth grader. Its worth our while to listen when someone like that think of technology as something which will cost us dearly in the future. Many a times children are guinea pigs to the system set in place in educational institutes. Many things are tried which may reveal some short term results but the long term consequences are never thoroughly researched on. I believe its about time we learn to moderate and not just jump in with such blind faith.

BEWARE!!

Thats the advice.



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An outsider view of Singapore

Read an interesting article today in TODAY newspaper of this letter sent in to the paper. The letter was a response to another letter regarding expat children not settling down in Singapore. A jarring comment by a foreigner regarding the way we parent in ways that over-protect the child.

"...is it true that they (Singaporean children) no longer venture out to learn and discover things on their own?"

Isn't it true that we do restrict our kids play time to indoor clean safe environment and not the get out and explore kind?

The final knock out punch from their perspective should send us thinking deep and hard:

"The need is, really, to teach our children not to regard material needs as the foundation of one's identity and instead, learn to believe in doing the best that they can in whatever fields they are interested in, without a care of societal expectations."

Very discerning isn't it? If you still are not like me, feeling guilty as charge by the accusations, think along the line of...

if you don't study, next time what are you going to become?
this kind of thing can't earn money, you know?
you study well, we buy you...
how can you not do well in (subject), you not going to be able to find a job

Think again.

We have reduce learning into a quest for future comfort, focusing on the material wealth it will provide and not giving them a chance to develop a love for learning. If they get that, it is an added benefit. The state of the deterioration has come to such a state that I came across a teacher commenting about what a student said to her when she offered to give extra lessons for the students to prepare them for the coming 'O' levels exams. Her class response to her kind, thoughtful and self sacrificing gesture was..."teacher, if we come, you treat us to McDonalds, ok?" The infuriated teacher response was you should give me a treat instead of the other way round.

Sigh....

BEWARE ... materialism will one day eat into the capacity of a child's ability to maximise his potential and rob him of his destiny. Helping them by motivating them through material incentives may not be helping them at all...




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